The neighbor’s tree
casts orange light into the porch
and speckled sun
flits on floorboards
inviting me to smile
and inhale, with gratitude,
my birthday.
and for the first October ever
I don’t want it.
not the day, not the age,
none of it
for the moment.
I do not deny or despise my years
(and in fact,
prefer the way a woman wears
better than a girl).
it’s that I’m distracted
missing out
a little low on laughs
and latitude,
and I’d opt to postpone
just a bit if I could
to offer due breadth
and due lark
to this while.

You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Psalm 65:11

image: Simple Birthday Cake from Bits of Everything blog

do you ever wake up grumpy?
you might not know at first
but as the minutes go by
scrambling eggs and grinding beans
the continual conversation
from toddlers and kids
begins to unravel
what you thought a fresh start,
and your partner’s dumb shirt
and the dog’s needless whine
and the bill balance size
and the day’s general bunk
make you give up good trust
before 9 in the morning.
do start again
on your knees as need be
because you really can’t bear
16 more hours of grump
and nor can your people
when continual conversation
requires reply
and meals must be made
with some shred of health
and your partner deserves
uncritical care
and a team mate to torchlight
the fact and the truth
that all,
even bunk,
will be well.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27

image: The Bad Mood by Moritz Petz, a go-to book in our house.